Curry Club Close-Up: Some Pilau Talk With Nicknameless Nick D

Everyone in the Glasgow of Curry brotherhood loves curry – but wouldn't it be intriguing to discover more about the men behind the menu choices? In this occasional Q&A series, we'll be journeying into the curry-obsessed mindpans of prominent members. After learning about the eating habits of the mighty wolverine in conversation with The Duke last time, we're continuing with Nick D, a well-travelled man to whom no Curry Club nickname could ever truly do justice. He might also be off to London in a bit, so we thought we should "grill" him while we had the chance ...

Name: Nick D

Nickname (UPDATE): Now Nick's actually, properly aff, we've asked for a definitive nickname for him, but the best he's come up with is Slumdog Millionaire's Shortbread. Watch this space. 

Favourite Glasgow curry house: The Wee Curry Shop, Buccleuch Street. Intriguingly, I have never passed through its doors, but I send out a boy most Saturdays for the most exquisite mutter paneer. Actually, once or twice it has been pretty manky, a sorry shadow of its usual cheesy peas self. I can only assume this is the result of some idiot substitute chef being on duty. Perhaps I should get the boy to make enquiries.

Second favourite Glasgow curry house: Do you know, I think it might just be The Village on Nelson Street, in with a bullet. I would like to return soon and see what it's like without a stomach full of lassi and overordered starters.

Favourite Glasgow curry takeaway: I too pine for the Woodlands Road pakora emporium. I think the man sold up and went into corporate catering. Wanker.

All-time favourite curry dish: A delicately spiced butterfish I had in Kerala. I say "delicately spiced" because I can't remember the details, just that it was very tasty. Num num.

All-time curry idol: John Curry, just shading Glasgow's "Curry King" Charan Gill.

Rice or naan? Can I say ... paratha? [Editor's note: Yes]

Favourite curry lager: King's (only brewed and sold in the state of Goa). Kingfisher has glycerine in it – or it does if you're in India, which you never know, you might be. Glycerine can give you the runs, and I'm not having that.

What's the most exotic place you've had a curry? Up the bum.

Can you actually make a decent curry yourself at home? No way.

If you could enjoy a curry dinner-for-two with anyone, either alive or dead, who would it be? I think it would be Noel Edmonds, dead.

Favourite curry-related motto: You don't have to be Madhur Jaffrey to work here, but it helps!

What creature or object would you say best symbolises your personality? A top hat. [Editor's note: we thought a picture of just a top hat might be a little dull – hence the mutt]

The Man With No Nickname, there, baring his curry soul. Do you agree with his choices? Who should be "grilled" next? Speak your brains in the comments, mofos.