Spare a thought for the very earliest cartographers. With much of the globe – or "tabletop", as they perhaps envisioned it – unexplored, there was always a ton of empty, white parchment that needed to be filled in. Often, they would simply inscribe hic sunt dracones ("Here Be Dragons"), implying that they'd dutifully sent some junior cartographer to recce that bit but he'd never returned, although someone found a burnt sandal nearby, but never mind that: who's going to pay for the replacement theodolite 'cos those things are really expensive and shouldn't someone really be talking to HR about this?

In a similar trailblazingly jobsworthy spirit, Trampy and The Tramp are proud to present their own usefully annotated Google Map, chronicling TATTGOC's spicy odyssey to date. If there were just a bit more white space, we'd probably inscribe hic erant vesica ("Here Were Bawbags") somewhere ... maybe over the St Rollox Business And Retail Park. To see the whole thing in a bit more detail, click here. And feel free to add another five-star rating to go along with the one we gave ourselves ...