Curry Club Close-Up: Some Pilau Talk With The Gheezer

Everyone in the Glasgow of Curry brotherhood loves curry – but wouldn't it be intriguing to discover more about the men behind the menu choices? In this occasional Q&A series, we'll be journeying into the curry-obsessed mindpans of prominent members, continuing with a hot rod-loving renegade who is only ever truly happy on the open road.

Name: The Gheezer / GZA

How did that nickname come about?
It was bestowed because of my London provenance. And because it has the word Ghee in it. I’m only kind of from London though, having spent some early years in “frightfully” Surrey. GZA is obviously an abbreviation of Gheezer, but also reflects my ongoing creative partnership with Gary Grice aka The Genius aka “the other GZA.”

Favourite Glasgow curry house: By virtue of the fact that it’s near the hoose but was also, weirdly, an unknown quantity for me before it swung into TATTGOC’s sights, I’m going to say Anarkali. Great food, friendly staff, BYOB, a waiter with a bottle-opening technique even better than Rabbie Shankar’s, and a short stagger home. Perfect.

Second favourite Glasgow curry house: Hard one this. I think Mr India’s Balti and Dosa House does it for me, although I’ve only visited once and was marooned, uncomprehending, amidst a sea of TATTGOC Watchmen chat. Oaft.

Favourite Glasgow curry takeaway: Chillies on Woodlands Road, though I’ve not sampled it since they’ve extended it to include seating.

All-time favourite curry dish: Dear God. It takes me long enough to decide when there’s a menu in front of me but that’s some question. It’s often hard to go wrong with a Jalfrezi (insert manly salute here).

All-time curry idol: Dell Gakhal from The Real Spice of Life caterers. Dell and his sons Kidj and Guv are responsible for me sometimes getting to live off curry for months at a time. Magnificent men, and if you’re passing the Cessnock stretch of Paisley Road look out for their takeaway shop. My curry anti-idol is Edwina Currie.

Rice or naan? Both. At gunpoint, rice.

Favourite curry lager: Something Czech (Pilsner Urquell a favourite) if it’s there; otherwise a Cobra. Nothing against a tall cold Tennent’s either actually. So ... basically anything.

What's the most exotic place you've had a curry? Er, is San Francisco exotic? I thought it was – they had proper American-style steaming manholes and everything. Anyway, the curry was fucking awful. Soggy poppadoms and incredibly greasy food all served in a cheaply decorated but expensively priced “theme” nightmare.

Can you actually make a decent curry yourself at home? I reckon I could have a go but fortunately I’m blessed with a curry-mad SAAG who’s also an excellent cook. So no worries there.

If so, can we all come round for our tea? I’ll just ask ...

If you could enjoy a curry dinner-for-two with anyone, either alive or dead, who would it be? Jocky Wilson. Just ... y’know. To see.

What's the story with you owning an American muscle car? Look, it wasn’t a muscle car, right? (Though I wish it had been ...) It was a 1985 Chevy Blazer I bought for a song in California in 2000, with the plan being to drive to New York and flog it there. But as I neared the East Coast I had a nagging feeling that I was quite attached to this motor. So across the Atlantic it came and I drove it about here until 2008, when I flogged it on eBay to a bloke called Pete who drove up through the night from Brighton to collect it. There was an Orange Walk going on when I met him in Govan to pick it up and he was utterly perplexed and mildly terrified. Anyway, he’s going to cut it to bits and turn it into a hot rod or something. In any case, I prefer the bike for hassle-free travel round the town, though I’d advise against cycling to Curry Club. The ride home is the problem. Legality of cycling pished aside, the exertion causes ghee and lager to be pumped round the system at a heart-palpitating rate and isn’t recommended even for hardy TATTGOCers.

What creature or object would you say best symbolises your personality? For the picture, like? Can I have Optimus Prime? Soundwave? No? All right then, a haddock. Captain Haddock, you see. Sigh.

(PS: Kat has also thoughtfully provided a picture of my head stuck on top of Borat in the mankini. Just in case, like.)

A fascinating insight, there, into the mind of The GZA. Who will be next to bare their curry soul? And will Ravi Peshwari ever answer those questions? Dinnae hold your breath ...


Duke Mitchell said...

Wisdom and insight from the Gheezer there. Watchmen was a pile of shite though wasn't it?

The Tramp said...

Lets not get started on the whole Watchmen debate again...

Top notch interview Gheezer, and I particularly like the fact that you actually sent in Kat's photoshop effort.

The Gheezer said...

Yeah, I was persuaded that it would be "unsporting" not to. Sigh.

Trampy said...

I occasionally dream about the Anarkali. I think it's because they had a hypnotising fishtank. And also because they provided the pakora that fuelled my AC/DC experience last year.

Powerful stuff.