Everyone in the Glasgow of Curry brotherhood loves curry – but wouldn't it be intriguing to discover more about the men behind the menu choices? In this occasional Q&A series, we'll be journeying into the curry-obsessed mindpans of prominent members. This week, we have a very special guest interview. Ahead of the return of Red Dwarf on a minority digital channel, we talk to intergalactic curry ambassador Dave Lister.
Name: Dave Lister
Nickname: Lal Tefal-head, apparently.
Favourite Galactic curry house: Can I say The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, or is that crossing the sci-fi streams too much?
Favourite Galactic curry takeaway: The Skutters can whip up a decent kipper vindaloo at a push, but I do miss the food from the takeaway next to the Aigburth Arms in Liverpool when I was growing up with my dear old gran.
All-time favourite curry dish: Has to be the classic mutton vindaloo, although there was that one time with a DNA modifier that turned one of my curries into a crazed killer beast. Luckily, I remembered the only thing that can terminate vindaloo: lager.
All-time curry idol: Can I say myself? I am the last human in the cosmos, after all.
Rice or naan? Can easily manage both, ta. Keep ’em coming.
Favourite curry lager: The Jupiter Mining Corporation’s own-brand Leopard lager … not particularly tasty but it’s the only one we’ve got on board.
What's the most exotic place you've had a curry? Probably the most unusual place I’ve had a curry is tattooed on my right buttcheek. I was on planet leave with a friend who spiked my drink with four-star petrol. When I woke up I had a heart with an arrow through it on my backside, with the words “I LOVE VINDALOO” written underneath in dripping curry sauce.
Can you actually make a decent curry yourself at home? I rely more on Kryten to handle the culinary side of things ...
If so, can we all come round for our tea? If you can get out here, mate, go ahead.
If you could enjoy a curry dinner-for-two with anyone, either alive or dead, who would it be? It would have to be the love of my life, Kristine Kochanski who has, at various points, been both alive and dead. I have also had the occasional curry with that smeghead Rimmer, who is definitely dead, but I wouldn’t say that it was anything like enjoyable.
Do you have a favourite curry-related game? I often pass the time on the ship by playing I game I actually made up myself called Name That Smell. Curry can often be a big part of that …
If you want to officially join Trampy And The Tramp's Glasgow Of Curry, you'll have to start wearing glasses or grow a decent beard. Can you commit to that? I can definitely commit to a beard.
So there are these three brand-new episodes of Red Dwarf being shown over Easter. Are they going to be gash? C’mon, they’re going out on a channel that's actually called Dave! How bad could they be?
Red Dwarf: Back To Earth is on Dave from Good Friday to Easter Sunday at 9pm, with all three episodes screening back-to-back on Easter Monday. And if you're wondering when we turned into a goddamned TV guide, it really just came from a weird urge to somehow use that "space mumps" picture. Awesome ...