"If You've Got A History Book At Home, Take It Out, Throw It In The Bin ... It's Worthless."

The public voting might be over but there's still a lot at stake in the ongoing Curry Capital 2011 competition. Our team of TATTGOC analysts may have cast a cursory eye over the competition last week, but despite all that investigative excavation, the Tramps were still wrongfooted, blindsided and creosote-eyed by this slice of campaign brilliance: 

Let's disregard the terrible radio DJ "rapping" at the end and simply agree that this is a masterstroke by the Wolverhampton team; a catchy pop hit redeployed with appropriately spiced-up lyrics – "Third last year ... we're going for gold" – and some genuinely excellent singing. It certainly raises the stakes for all the cities who remain in serious Curry Capital contention. And for Glasgow, a city steeped in musical history that is also proud to host the MOBO awards for the forseeable, it does seem like a missed trick ...

(But then: has Glasgow ever made a similarly effective video promo to support a local cause?)

Curry Capital 2011: Sizin' Up The Competition
Yeeaaargh! It's Time For Khuhlai Khan's Kurry Klub Khallenge!
Last Chance To Vote For Your Favourite Glasgow Curryhouse ...
Vow Wow Wow: Raisin' A Glass To TATTGOC's Happy Couples!

Curry Capital 2011: Sizin' Up The Competition

In case you haven't heard us banging on about it for ages – here, and here and on Twitter – today is the last day of public voting for Curry Capital 2011. Be advised that the original online poll – which had over 250,000 votes, and put Glasgow and Bradford pretty much neck-and-neck – was closed on September 17, so the only way to make your vote count now is by email: sling one over to votecity@fedrest.com indicating that you want to vote for Glasgow. As well as getting a nice warm, possibly spicy feeling inside, you'll also be entered in a prize draw to win a year's supply of lager and Patak's products. Of course, while the public vote is important, the crown is also awarded on various other criteria – check out the bottom half of this official post for the exhaustive judging process. Much of the remaining responsibility lies with the teams of four curryhouses chosen to represent each city.

But never mind that – let's take a sideways and hopefully humorous look at some of Glasgow's main rivals, then make some arbitrary judgements about their chances!

(Click here for the runners and riders ...)

Tastin' With The Tramps: Mongoose, Aboot The Hoose!

The distinguished members of TATTGOC sure do love their curry, as evidenced by their now-outdated title of Curry Lovers Of The Year 2010. But their ongoing quest for spicy satisfaction isn't merely limited to TATTGOC's regular excursions to some of Glasgow's hidden-gem curryhouses. If they happen across almost any curry-related foodstuff, Trampy and The Tramp feel compelled to take it for a spin – and thus was born the irregular feature Tastin' With The Tramps. What curry-related product is in the hot seat this time? It's relatively-recently-launched, spicy-food-friendly lager Mongoose Premium Beer!

(Click here to chase the Mongoose ...)

REVIEW: Wake Up And Smell The Cafe

Café Serena, Maxwell Road

The Time: August 25, 8.30pm

Booking Name: None required ...

The Place Aforehand: The Tramp’s hoose.

In Attendance: Trampy, The Tramp, The Gheezer, Ravi Peshwari, Onion Bha-G, Rumpole Of The Balti, Chasni Hawkes, Sir Spicy Lover, Rogan Josh Homme, Rabbie Shankar and our roving Foreign Curryspondent and guest photographer for this report: Tikka MaBaws!

Decor: With its spiffy modern signage suitable for an F1 racing team, Café Serena hardly harks back to the curryhouses of old. But inside, there’s a surprisingly spacious sit-in area and it’s clean, clean, clean as a whistle.

Expectations: The Tramp had already been pounding Café Serena for tandoori takeaways since moving to the Southside, while Trampy and Rogan Josh Homme had once ordered a ridiculous amount of food from the same establishment. Hopes were therefore high for the sit-in experience.
The Experience:

Poor Mumbai Me A Pony! Did she realise that when she married The Tramp, by extension she was also marrying the massed ranks of the Curry Club? These thoughts must have passed through her mind as she watched 11 sturdy men swigging beer in her living room, gabbing and cavorting like recently released primates blessed with a sudden surge of unnatural intelligence: Rise Of The Planet Of The Japes. But, typically, Mumbai Me A Pony took it all in her stride, like a true saffrongette. And it would only be for half an hour or so. Before long, this manly Hurricane Wire-In would surely spin off down the road in pursuit of curry?

Yeeaaargh! It's Time For Khublai Khan's Kurry Klub Khallenge!

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

– from "Kubla Khan" (1797) by Sammy Coleridge 
 (Or to give him his Curry Club name, Cole-Raj)

A while back, possibly not long after TATTGOC failed to win Scottish Curry Lover(s) Of The Year twice in a row, the Tramps got an interesting email. Essentially, it was a challenge. The venerable Mongolian barbecue restaurant empire Khublai Khan's – which has two outlets, in Edinburgh and Glasgow – got in touch to say they were big fans of the blog. An excellent start. They went on to ask whether the Tramps would consider visiting their Glasgow restaurant. Because even though it wasn't a curryhouse, the modular nature of Mongolian barbecue – where one selects their own combination of meat, veg, spices, sauces and oils to then be cooked up by an expert – means that it's certainly possible to put together something curry-esque. So ... out of Trampy and The Tramp, former joint curry lovers of the year, which spicy titan could create the best curry or approximation thereof? It proved to be an irresistible summons, as if Khan himself had slapped our burly heroes across the face with a chainmail glove. And so, on a balmy summer evening, the Tramps set out for Glasgow's own inner Mongolia, the Merchant City, with Mumbai Me A Pony on hand to act as totally impartial judge, jury and photo-cutioner.


(Click here for the full Mongolian journey ...)