There's a hastily-minted TATTGOC tradition of coming up with New Year's resolutions in January, five pledges to improve the Curry Club's lot in some physical or emotional manner. When such a declaration was made last year, it was with the proviso that one of the stated resolutions was a fake-out, a bare-faced lie. But a lot can happen in 12 months and even the Tramps can't rightly remember which one was the dedicated falsehood since practically all of them were unachieved. No matter! Forward! What are TATTGOC's nominal aims for 2012?

1: Get a tandoor



(Click here to read on ...)

Pretty self-explanatory, this; the better to transition from enthusiastic consumers of curry to garlanded creators of it. A proper tandoor out the back of TATTGOC Towers sounds incredibly appealing, and could solve the traditional rice/naan equation effortlessly, in that everyone would just have to have naans. An endless supply of delicious, piping-hot naans. The only hurdle could be cost, but garden tandoors appear to be coming down in price ...



Almost exactly this time last year, TATTGOC jokingly pledged to get nominated in the Scottish Curry Awards 2011 "in a category other than Curry Lover of the Year cos you cannae get it twice". This was obviously a gag – what chance would a TATTGOC pop-up curryhouse have compared to Scotland's spicy titans? – but as is often the case, the joke ended up being on the Tramps themselves. Despite not actively campaigning to retain their 2010 Curry Lover title, they still found themselves nominated in the same category. Of course, the 2011 title was won by Tam Cowan. So to prevent heartache, the Tramps pre-emptively withdraw from the 2012 competition. (It would still be nice to be invited to the event as honoured guests though.)



A hot-potato issue on Keep Calm And Curry On, the official TATTGOC podcast, no subject was more divisive than the topic of egg curry. The Tramp is against it. Trampy is willing to experiment. Ravi Peshwari and others are rigidly militant about it. So the only way to truly settle the issue is to open TATTGOC's well-thumbed edition of the Shish Mahal cookbook and rustle up an Egg Bandaloo. It might be the most earth-shattering – nay, girth-shattering! – Tastin' With The Tramps ever ...



(Or at least try a bit harder than last year.)



Obviously it would be fun to cut about Glasgow in a tuk-tuk. In fact, there's a local cabbie who's got two of them. But the Tramps plan to go one better. After buying and customising the TATTGOC tuk-tuk, they would then drive overland to Mumbai, stopping at various spicy restaurants on the way. It could be a TV show! Like the Hairy Bikers, only more less hairy, less bikey but possibly more sensual. Call us, ITV2!



Yep, that clockwork-orange one is awful.

Avanti!

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